Golden Globes Savior

In my personal opinion….

Do you miss it?

By it, I mean the usually boring except for the yearly drunken acceptance speech followed by the tearful “you love me, you really really love me” nonsense that’s usually the standard of the Golden Globes Awards. If so, your insane.

Ricky Gervais was fucking awesome.

Seriously.

It was the first time in a LOOONG time i’ve actually laughed out loud during an opening monologue… for all the right reasons. He was spot on hilarious. He spared no fools and basically said what many of us were thinking in our heads.

And really? When I heard that James Franco and Ann Hathaway were going to be hosting the Oscars, do you think I got excited? Hell no. Know why? Because it’s going to be the same Hollywood safe standard. Probably a dancing skit. A clusterbomb of bad jokes that will get a few sympathetic chuckles from the audience. And asskissing galore.

What the hell is the big deal? Who cares if Robert Downey Jr. thought he was a bit harsh? Didn’t he then launch into a bit about how the female noms were greater actresses because they slept with him? Sure, that was a joke, but if your going to nitpick and talk about being offensive, isn’t it more offensive to insinuate that an actor has had all the nominees every which way but loose before reading their names and announcing the winner for their category?

Hollywood, grow up. You don’t give a fuck about the best foreign film nominees…or winner for that matter. You make fun of the closeted scientologists EVERY SINGLE DAY. You know who they are! You are visualizing them in your head as you read this. You were at an award show hoping you won an award controlled by 70+ members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, in what looks on TV much like a hotel ballroom with jumbo bottles of Moet on the table dressed up in glorified prom hair/dress. You came to kiss the ass of the producer/writing team sitting at table 142. To get the autograph of that guy who stars on that show because your agent’s niece, the one with the substance abuse problem, has a prime Columbian connection whose a fan of the show and you wanna make nice, especially seeing as your supposed to be on the wagon and all. You came because your playing the game, just be honest about it.

Can you imagine what he didn’t joke about? He could have spent 30 minutes on Christian Bale alone. Has everyone forgotten he lost his shit on set and basically went Hollywood on a PA? He could have named names with the Scientology joke. He could have made a quick joke about the fact Katey Segal won, or that she was apparently seated in Hollywood Siberia and had to hike thru the woods to finally get to the stage and accept her award.

In other words people, get over yourselves! I can’t be bothered to feel sorry for Hollywood types. You make a good living, your wearing borrowed gowns, and half of you were drunk off your ass, and the rest of you maybe should have had a couple more drinks so you wouldn’t be so damn uptight. You know what should have been a headline from the Golden Globes?

Trent Reznor is a damn Golden Globes winner. Trent Reznor! Nine Inch Nails! He’s alive! He’s not a rock star burnout! He looks great! He’s doing movie scores! This is HUGE! Hurrah!

I won’t be surprised if Neil Patrick Harris is the host next year, but I also won’t be watching. You can’t say your for freedom of speech and don’t want art to be censored, and at the same time go on and on about how Ricky G “was sooo mean”. It’s like you just met the man yesterday. It’s not like he was a clean comic and then all of a sudden… KAPOW!

In my personal opinion…